Still Not Sorry
by MaskedScissorDoll
Summary: "I defenestrated that man," Marshall said, "for a reason. I won't tell you what that reason is, but believe me, he deserved it. He was being a butt. But If you would like me to apologize to that butt, I'll go do it. But I'm doing it for you and for our friendship, and not because he deserves an apology."


"Fionna!" he threw a pebble at her window. "Fionna, please!"

Cake opened the window. "She doesn't want to talk to your face today," Cake said, "Come back when she doesn't want to strangle you."

Marshall would not be deterred. "Tell her I'm sorry!"

"She knows you're sorry, but she's still mad at you," Cake said, "Saying I'm sorry doesn't take the mad away."

"Please," Marshall Lee said, "Please, Fionna, just talk to me."

Fionna poked her head out. "I'm talking to you right now," she said, "Does that make you happy?"

"Do you forgive me?" he asked.

"No!" she said.

"Then no, it doesn't make me happy! Look, Fionna, I'm sorry I hurt Gumball's feelings."

"You hurt more than Gumball's feelings," she said. "You knocked him out a eighth floor window."

"I caught him before he hit the ground," he reasoned, "And anyway, he disrespected you, Fionna."

She gave him a look. "In what way did Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom disrespect me? Because that's a new one, Marshall."

"He looked at you funny," Marshall said, "And I didn't like it. And then I heard him talking to Lumpy Space Prince about you, and it wasn't nice. If it gives you an idea, Lumpy Space Prince helped me push him out the window. And Lumpy Space Prince loves gossip and making fun of people and that kind of stuff. And I think he's kind of sweet on Gumball."

Fionna huffed, "He's Prince Gumball! It's not like he's going to say anything that insulting, he's too polite! And anyway you now how fragile he is. I'm pretty sure he'd dissolve if you had enough water."

"Hmmm," Marshall Lee said, stroking his chin, "There's a thought."

"Marshall!" she threw a shoe at him. He dodged it neatly and laughed. "Don't you dare."

"Oh, I wouldn't kill Gumball. Might maim him a little bit, but I wouldn't kill him. If you're this mad at me for trying to scare some manners into him, I shudder to think what you might do if I killed him."

"I swear Marshall, sometimes, I don't even know why I put up with you," she said, "You tell me you're evil, you keep playing these mean tricks on my friends, you get in these bizarre situations and then you expect me to bail you out. You know Gumball wanted to exile you to the Fire Kingdom?"

"You'd never let them do that," Marshall said, collecting Fionna's shoe. "And anyway, they couldn't make me go. If they came to get me I'm pretty sure I could take a bunch of candy people."

"That's the thing, Marshall," she said. "It's like you don't even know what you're capable of. You make all these threats that nobody ever believes, and for months or years you have us convinced you're full of hot air-"

"Hey!" he said, handing her shoe in through the window.

"Well, it's kind of true. You've got 'demon eyes," she patronized him with finger quotes, "You've got those sharp teeth, you turn into monsters to freak people out. And we all get that. But then you pull stuff like this."

Marshall Lee looked downcast.

"Are you sorry now? Do you get that this was kind of a big deal? That you don't go to a dude's house and then throw them out a window?"

"I defenestrated that man," Marshall said, "for a reason. I won't tell you what that reason is, but believe me, he deserved it. He was being a butt. But If you would like me to apologize to that butt, I'll go do it. But I'm doing it for you and for our friendship, and not because he deserves an apology."

"Good!" Fionna said, "Try not to throw him out a window again."

"I can't make you any promises," he said, "But I'll do my best."

As she watched him leave, Fionna resolved to do two things. First, she was going to find out what "defenestrated" meant. Then she was going to call Lumpy Space Prince and find out exactly what happened.

It was a short glide from the tree house to the candy kingdom, and the castle was still full of servants cleaning up the remnants of the party. Marshall had no difficulty letting himself in. It was the candy kingdom after all. It was like they didn't even try anymore. Marshall wondered why his friend the Ice Queen ever had any trouble at all kidnapping Gumball. 'If she really wanted to,' Marshall thought, 'she could probably leave the castle with Gumball stashed under an overcoat and nobody would notice. If there were no Fionna, the fool would be completely defenseless.'

"Marshall Lee?" Gumball's voice said behind him.

Marshall swiveled in the air and saw him. He was actually physically helping clean up with a dust bin and a brush.

"What are you doing here?" Gumball asked.

"I came here to apologize," Marshall said. "Strictly because Fionna asked and not because you deserve it, you sexist pig."

"I am absolutely not a sexist pig," Prince Gumball retorted, "But I accept your wholly insincere and meaningless apology."

"Good," Marshall said. "I guess I'll go tell Fionna you accepted my apology so she'll talk to me again."

"She stopped talking to you because you pushed me out a window?"

"Well, yeah," Marshall said, scratching the back of his neck. "It weirded me out too, but I guess she's your friend and stuff, and I dig Fionna for who she is, so I've kind of come to accept this kind of thing."

Gumball considered this for a moment and then shrugged. "Fionna's a nice girl, she always tries to do the right thing. I still don't understand why you got so mad at me, Marshall Lee," Gumball ran his hand over his hair. "All I said was that those were some fine buns over there." He pointed to the buffet table.

'..fine buns over there...' Marshall remembered the words and the gesture, and he visualized where Fionna had been standing and remembered the implication the phrase had given him. And then the horrible logic of it all kicked in, and Marshall realized the gravity of the misunderstanding that had occurred earlier that day. He wondered how he had ever believed Gumball, yes, Gumball was capable of saying that phrase and meaning anything but the most literal possible meaning of the words as he strung them naively together.

And it was at about this time he heard the footfalls on the stairs. His vampire hearing picked them up long before Prince Gumball was aware of them. At first they were quiet, but they got louder and louder, and before the door could burst open, Marshall knew exactly who it was, but he was too shocked by what he knew was about to transpire to prevent it in time.

That was the version he was going to tell Fionna later. Not the version where he savored watching her lift Prince Gumball by his collar screaming, "How dare you objectify my body!" as she hoisted him through the still broken eighth floor window. Marshall did have the sense to dive through the window after him, preventing Prince Gumball from breaking his crown.

A few days later, Marshall Lee gave Gumball a list of conversational topics he should avoid should he wish to avoid further embarrassment. Several of them required further explanation.

"I still don't understand why-"

"Just don't say it again, dude. Like ever."

Marceline finished the story, handing it to the Ice King. She'd noticed he wasn't feeling well lately, so she scribbled down a little bit of Fiolee fan fiction to make him feel better. Gunter was helping him put his feet in a bucket of icewater. A bowl of untouched icy chicken noodle soup sat on the table next to the Ice King's frozen easy chair. He sneezed and Marceline flinched.

"This stuff is pretty good," the Ice King said, "But what if Marshall confessed his true feelings to Fionna-"

"Feel better, Simon," Marceline said, and left.

He smiled anyway.


End file.
